The (beautifully) handwritten check. It’s all in the details…

Salmon cornet.

Started with Oysters and Pearls — Sayayon of Pearl Tapioca with Island reek Oysters and Sterling White Sturgeon Cavier

Fluffy, croissant-esque bread with six imported salts. And, of course, their famous butter that comes from a lady with six eight cows (one named Keller).

Terrine of Hudson Valley Moulard Duck Foie Gras – Field Rhubarb, Freddy Guy’s Hazelnuts, Celery Branch Ribbons, Greek Yogurt, Petite Mint and Aged Balsamic Vinegar with Toasted Brioche. (Side story of the night: when your brioche gets a little cold, they replace it with hot brioche–pretty awesome.)

Chatham Bay Cod “En Croute” – Per Se Chorizo, Pea Tendril Raviolo and Cilantro Shoots with Toasted Almond Butter

Butter Poached Nova Scotia Lobster Mitts – Young Artichokes, Green Garlic, Petite Parsley and Heirloom Carrots with Barigoule Emulsion.

Four Story Hills Farm’s Supreme De Poularde – Brown Butter “Pain Perdu,” Oregon Morel Mushrooms, Wilted Dandelion Greens and Fava Bean Tapenade with Blis Maple Syrup Jus.

Snake River Farm’s Calotte De Beuf – Moelle Confit, Broccolini Tempura, Hakurei Turnips and Braised Spring Onion with Bordelaise Vinaigrette.

Degustation of Hoosick Falls Spring Lamb – Asperges en Deux Facons, Compressed French Breakfast Radishes and Frisee Lettuce with Sauce Gribiche.

Monte Enebro – Croustillant de Pignons de Pin, Roquette Leaves and Red Beet Essence with Sour Cherry Pate de Fruit.

Guava Sorbet – Black Sesame Nougatine and Kiwano Melon with Whipped Green Tea.

Swiss Roll – Chocolate Roulade, Manjari Chocolate Cremex and Chocolate-Covered Banana with Glace a la Creme Fraiche.

Lemon Gingersnaps – Jamaican Gingerbread and Meyer Lemon Marshmallow with Pain d’Epices Ice Cream.

Special Requested Dessert – Coffee and Donuts.

Another little something extra. Vanilla bean creme brulee.

Another something. Yogurt Pot de Cremeux with Hibiscus Jam (we think).

The post-dinner kitchen tour. Immaculate. Unbelievably immaculate.

Ok. A bit about the restaurant.

• It is one of only six three star restaurants in the US.
• They have an in-house florist who does the centerpieces and flowers.
• There is a webcam that goes to Thomas Keller’s other three star restaurant in California (The French Laundry) located in the kitchen–the webcam is mechanized and can zoom, pan, and tilt via remote control.
• There are lots of little nods to French Laundry. For example, blue (nonfunctional) doors at the entrance are identical to those at FL. Also, lamp shades have laundry symbols on them.
• Their most expensive wine is $18,000.
• It’s all about you at this place. We requested a kitchen tour and an off-menu dessert and got both. We also requested paper menus to keep–it comes in its own little folder.
• They start you off with some salmon cornets and gruyere gourgeres–traditional Thomas Keller starters.
• The skyscrapper where Per Se is located, Time Warner Building, subsidizes their rent and also houses Masa–another three star restaurant.
• Thomas Keller’s motto is “product and execution” and he obviously excels at both.

Here it is. I officially have 2/5 Thomas Keller restaurants under my belt. Well on my way to getting all of them before the end of the summer.

I know New York. I need New York. I know I need unique New York.

- The Decemberists

My time is slowly ending here and despite all the things I hate about New York, I’m really going to miss it. So here’s the first in a series dedicated to the city I hate to love…

PS – MoMA has gotten crazy with their enforcement of the “No Photography” exhibits.

I’ve been pretty addicted to reading F My Life.com. It’s essentially a website where people anonymously post snippets of moments they wish didn’t happen to them. Kinda like the Southwest “Wanna get away?” commercials. Most of the snippets are posted by prepubescent teens who have some kind of horrible sex moment or witness their parents doing the naughty or something really juvenile (albeit, entertaining), but occasionally, you run across a real gem.

For example:

Today, my fiancee broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

Today, I found out that I am being sued for losing a set of wedding photos that I took. I lost them by being mugged on the way home after the shoot and £10,000 worth of equipment was stolen from me. FML

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

Pretty jacked, right? Well, I had one of those moments today… I don’t think I’ve really hit a point where I said “F my life”, so I’ll just call it my Southwest Moment.

I just got off the subway and was in my “New York walk” mode. The thing about getting off the subway is that you really have to jet to the closest staircase or else the human traffic makes the journey exponentially longer. I’m making a fast break for it and suddenly everybody in front of my stops. I’ve got my Shure E3cs on and I’m playing some Mogwai pretty loudly. The Shures already cut out 10dbs of sound without any music playing so I literally cannot hear anything. I mutter under my breath breath about how some people have things to do and papers to write. (At least I think I muttered. You can never tell with those things in your ears.)

Finally, fed up, I just get as close to the handrail as possible and push my way up NFL-fullback style… I finally get to the top where I realized why everybody was stopping. An elderly man fell down and people had stopped to help him up and get his cane and groceries off the ground.

I could feel 100 pairs of eyes glaring at me–the little punk kid who doesn’t care about or respect his elders.

At that moment, I would have given my only kidney for a Southwest flight outta there.

After a solid 4 years of abuse,⁽¹⁾ my Shure E3c’s died on me about 6 months ago. The plug was exposed and the innards were dangling everywhere–I thought all hope was lost, so I just stuck with my ghetto iBuds. Eventually, after about 6 months of abuse, my iBuds died and only the left side worked. And slowly but surely I became desensitived to what music is supposed to sound like–any sort of noise that resembled a melody was enough for me.

It’s all a matter of perspective though. Last month, I decided to try to revive my Shures and got myself a cheapo-soldering kit and stereo plug from RadioShack⁽²⁾. Now, the RadioShack bling is a little more attention than I’d like to draw to myself, but it’s usually in my pocket, hidden from view so I don’t mind.

After a good solid month, I’m happy to report they are as amazing as I remember. I got the chance to compare them to the new replacements, Shure SE310s, and a set of Ultimate Ears super.fi5 vi’s and super.fi5 pros. All three are super nice, but none of them are good enough to convince me to buy a new set.

They’re amazing. If you’ve never had a chance to use IEMs, you need to. Suddenly, I’m hearing reverb where I couldn’t hear it before and I swear you can hear the pick hit the strings on a few Mayer songs.

1. Two trips to Africa. Two trips through the washing machine. Countless drops into the show. One time I was running and accidentally yanked it out of my ear and then stepped on it.
2. $15 for both, after tax

I like to name my expensive toys. My car was Shar!!ricka.⁽²⁾ My guitar was Taryn. My amp is Brad. My laptop is Captain Oats. My beard was Captain Ahab–wait, nevermind.

Anyways… I need help choosing a name for my camera, but I decided on a theme.

I want to name it after a female singer. My love for female singer/songwriters is no secret…

The options are:

1) Rachael – Like Yamagata. Just wish me the best and hope I find whatever I’m looking for.

2) Schuyler – As in Fisk (and pronounced SKY-ler). Because I’ve been this way with so many before, but it feels like the first.

3) Jenny – Lewis. Because she’s⁽³⁾ got the moneymaker.

4) Ingrid – Like Michaelson. Because–as we learned from my last camera–they are so fragile, so breakable, breakable, breakable.

5) Priscilla – As in Ahn. Because in this town, I just wanna shoot ‘em down.

6) Deb – Like Talan of The Weepies. Because I try to be honest, try to be kind, try to leave when I know that it’s time.

Thanks for voting.

1. For the record, I think both “in the wake” and “this historic election” are the most cliched phrases in the history of instant news and mass broadcasting.
2. Pronounced Shar-[cluck] [cluck]-reeka
3. The camera. Not Jenny. Well, Jenny too… but in that instance I meant the camera.

Dear Real Snow,

I love you.

I feel liked we just shared something incredible. Something meaningful. Something other San Diegans can only dream of experiencing.

I know I’ve made fun of you in the past and I apologize. You do not deserve to be compared to Fake Snow of Bear Mountain or Mountain High. Your first impression on me was… underwhelming, but you came full force today and I’ve realized my foolish mistake.

You are beautiful, soft, and–as I found out by running outside with my mouth gaping open like a crazyperson trying to catch a little bit of you on my tongue–surprisingly elusive. You are everything I’ve heard about and more.

I can see how our relationship will eventually turn from love to hate as the 49 seconds I spent with you outside was more than enough to leave me frostbitten and wet, but I would rather have those 49 seconds basking in your radiance and lose a pinky finger than eternity only knowing of you in books and movies.

Yours Lovingly,
Mat

Don’t worry, kiddos. I have to go to an interview tomorrow morning so I shaved it off… It’s gone.

Captain Ahab, you will be missed. One day, I will have 5 weeks of nothing important and we will reunite. (Perhaps we will even grow⁽¹⁾ into something worth writing home about.)

Until then, bon voyage.

1. Pun intended.

Girl 1: And then he was like, “Don’t you know I speak in hyperbole?” And then he was like, “Wait. What’s hyperbole again?” [Haha.]
Girl 2: [Hahaha.]

5 minutes later.

Girl 2: Wait… so what’s hyperbole again?
Girl 1: You know… it’s… when… you exaggerate a lot… like all the time…

For the record, a hyperbole is not when you exaggerate a lot. It is a literary device meant to evoke emotion or emphasize something and is not taken literally. An exaggeration can happen. I’m so thirsty I could drink a gallon of water right now. A hyperbole is something that can never ever happen. I’m so thirsty I could drink the Pacific. Meant to evoke emotion or strongly bring across a point.

I’ve never felt like a college education was so meaningless. A BS/BA is the new GED.

I have gotten flagged to have my bag searched⁽¹⁾ FOUR times in the last six days.

I was flagged once in the six months prior to this.

I know NYC is under alert for a terrorist/subway plot, but I’m starting to think this is due to my four-weeks-worth of facial hair.⁽²⁾ Seriously, I think they are thrown off by my Asian eyes, large backpack, not-skinny-hip-like-all-the-other-New-York-kids build, and hapa haole facial growth… But mostly, I think it’s the facial hair.

Well, guess what? My resolve is stronger than ever. I will not give in to your straight, white male oppression, Officer Kelly! Your implicit threats of sodomy via broomstick or via nightstick will not deter me! Shouldn’t you be out assaulting a bicyclist?!

I swear, if I miss one more train because they flagged me, I’m going to give them a piece of my mind.⁽³⁾

Just another nonterrorist (with patchy facial hair),
Mathew

1. It’s not really a search. They rub it with a cloth that has been rubbed on a million other bags and then run it through a machine.
2. It’s a protest beard. I refuse to shave it until my last final.
3. Molly, you’re still going to bail me out of jail, right?

I went to see a taping of The Colbert Report — mark another one off my East Coast Goals. It was pretttttty hilarious. Seeing him out of character is kind of strange and disconcerting, but trust me when I say that it really is just a character. The real Stephen Colbert is quick, witty, and significantly taller than Jon Stewart.⁽¹⁾

The studio itself is pretty small. 107 seats.⁽²⁾ The process is similar to when I went to see The Daily Show — you get tickets online, you line up outside for an hour or two, they check IDs and hand out cards with numbers on them, you go through an airport-like security check, they let you in to a holding room, and finally, they’ll let you into the main studio in the order that you lined up in.

Once they sit you down, they tell you the process and a standup comedian comes out and loosens the crowd up. Stephen comes out and answers any questions (out of character) in order to “humanize” himself before he gets into character and skewers our democratic leaders in front of the audience.

Getting tickets is a real pain so here are my tips:

• Check the web site for tickets often. Very often. I checked twice a day, everyday, for 6 weeks before I got tickets.
• I also used a web site change detector to email me whenever text on the web site changed so I would know if tickets were updated or if they had some sort of special screening going on.
• This is how the process works (as far as I can tell), it looks like he is sold out until next year but in actuality, they only release a certain number of days in advance. So even though the calendar goes to 2009, they might only release two months in advance. I think they release them at certain intervals (once a week, possibly once a month) and they release them in bulk. So it’s not like everyday 1 ticket gets up, but every week, 3 new days are available on the calendar.
• Don’t forget to confirm. They’ll send you an email. YOU HAVE TO CLICK THAT LINK. People in line with us forgot to confirm and had to come back the next day. Suckas.
• Once you’re inside, it is cold. Like all studios, there’s about 200 lights overhead which tends to head up a room quickly. You don’t want the talent sweating so what they do is they make the room at about 2 degrees above freezing. Wear a coat.

If you’re interested, you can see us at the 1:08 mark of the 11/20/08 showing when they pan the audience. Check hulu.com.

The “WRISTSTRONG” bracelet was one of about 5 he gave out that night. I actually stole it from the person who actually got it, but that’s ok.⁽³⁾ It was like a tax for giving her my ticket to see the show.

If you don’t get the whole wrist violence/bracelet thing, you probably don’t watch Colbert Report enough. Here’s the Wiki artcle.

The end.

PS — Despite how awesome my camera is, there’s hope for all you ghetto camera Canon Rebel and Nikon D40/x users out there… This guy made this photo with a Nikon D40 and Nikon 18-200 VR⁽⁴⁾ and a whole lot of time and patience. Awesome shot.

I’ve seen⁽⁵⁾ a lot of GGB shots, and this is by far one of the best.

1. Some would also say he’s a bit heavier in the middle than it shows on TV.
2. Daily Show has 200+, Conan has 200+
3. Thanks, Olivia!
4. Not, by any measures, a sharp lens.
5. and taken