Per Se (Food Porn)
There aren’t enough superlatives to describe the experience that is Per Se… So I’m just going to go straight to the photos…
The (beautifully) handwritten check. It’s all in the details… Continue reading…
Archived entries for New York Life
Leaving New York: MoMA
NIKON D700 and 50.0 mm f/1.4 shooting f/2.0, 1/1250 s, ISO 250 at 50 mm. Taken at 2010:02:20 16:46:49
I know New York. I need New York. I know I need unique New York.
- The Decemberists
My time is slowly ending here and despite all the things I hate about New York, I’m really going to miss it. So here’s the first in a series dedicated to the city I hate to love…
My Personal “Southwest Commercial” Moment.
Hello, my name is Mathew and I am a jerk.
I’ve been pretty addicted to reading F My Life.com. It’s essentially a website where people anonymously post snippets of moments they wish didn’t happen to them. Kinda like the Southwest “Wanna get away?” commercials. Most of the snippets are posted by prepubescent teens who have some kind of horrible sex moment or witness their parents doing the naughty or something really juvenile (albeit, entertaining), but occasionally, you run across a real gem.
For example:
Today, my fiancee broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML
Today, I found out that I am being sued for losing a set of wedding photos that I took. I lost them by being mugged on the way home after the shoot and £10,000 worth of equipment was stolen from me. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Pretty jacked, right? Well, I had one of those moments today… I don’t think I’ve really hit a point where I said “F my life”, so I’ll just call it my Southwest Moment.
You Get To Name My Camera!
In the wake of this historic election(1), I decided to employ the democratic process…
I like to name my expensive toys. My car was Shar!!ricka.(2) My guitar was Taryn. My amp is Brad. My laptop is Captain Oats. My beard was Captain Ahab–wait, nevermind.
Anyways… I need help choosing a name for my camera, but I decided on a theme.
Footnotes:
Does This Beard Make My Face Look Fat?
Don’t worry, kiddos. I have to go to an interview tomorrow morning so I shaved it off… It’s gone.
Captain Ahab, you will be missed. One day, I will have 5 weeks of nothing important and we will reunite. (Perhaps we will even grow(1) into something worth writing home about.)
Until then, bon voyage.
Footnotes:- Pun intended. [↩]
So Stupid, I Lost IQ Points Sitting There. (Hyperbolic.)
A conversation I overheard while sharing my table at Starbucks with two girls:
Girl 1: And then he was like, “Don’t you know I speak in hyperbole?” And then he was like, “Wait. What’s hyperbole again?” [Haha.]
Girl 2: [Hahaha.]5 minutes later.
Girl 2: Wait… so what’s hyperbole again?
Girl 1: You know… it’s… when… you exaggerate a lot… like all the time…
For the record, a hyperbole is not when you exaggerate a lot. It is a literary device meant to evoke emotion or emphasize something and is not taken literally. An exaggeration can happen. I’m so thirsty I could drink a gallon of water right now. A hyperbole is something that can never ever happen. I’m so thirsty I could drink the Pacific. Meant to evoke emotion or strongly bring across a point.
I’ve never felt like a college education was so meaningless. A BS/BA is the new GED.
I Am Not A Terrorist! (Stop Facial Hair Profiling.)
I am being profiled.
I have gotten flagged to have my bag searched(1) FOUR times in the last six days.
I was flagged once in the six months prior to this.
Footnotes:- It’s not really a search. They rub it with a cloth that has been rubbed on a million other bags and then run it through a machine. [↩]
Colbert Report: Even Robots Are Against Wrist Violence.
I went to see a taping of The Colbert Report — mark another one off my East Coast Goals. It was pretttttty hilarious. Seeing him out of character is kind of strange and disconcerting, but trust me when I say that it really is just a character. The real Stephen Colbert is quick, witty, and significantly taller than Jon Stewart.(1)
Footnotes:- Some would also say he’s a bit heavier in the middle than it shows on TV. [↩]