The Last eHarmony Update.

[This is the last in a series of posts about the adventures of online dating through eHarmony. The posts are obviously not mine--I've just agreed to post them so my friend can stay anonymous. Read the rest of the series here. - Mat]

Becoming a statistic

Bachelor #5 was the last guy I had planned to go out with before ending the whole eHarmony shenanigans. It had been a pretty interesting (and for you, entertaining) adventure over the past several months, seeing who turned up online and how they fared on actual dates. But it was also exhausting. The step-by-step process of communicating via an agenda usually took 2-4 weeks to garner a first date. It was repetitive and sometimes boring. And from there (as you already know), each long investment always seemed to fall through. So I was about ready to quit. The experience had been eventfully uneventful, until I met Bachelor #5.

In all honesty, I didn’t think that this last straw would be worth investing the time in considering my previous record. But something in me – maybe it was my Asian guilt over the fact that my friends had spent more than a hundred bucks on this subscription for me; or maybe it was my desire for eHarmony to redeem itself after all those stupid commercials; or maybe it was the last glimmer of hope that I held from my eternal [yet dying] optimism – something told me to give it one last chance.

So #5 wasn’t the most articulate bachelor that I’ve communicated with online, but there seemed to be something different about him. I had been advised by friends to go beyond what was on paper to really make an accurate assessment of the man. [However, I still think that the previous video blog post on really bad communication still holds its own.] So I decided to meet #5…after all, he was the cutest out of the crop and seemed nice.

We decided to meet over after-work drinks, and he was in fact, the cutest out of the crop and really nice. He looked even more handsome than his photos, and he was incredibly sweet. So we moved on to date #2 – dinner at a quaint little Italian restaurant in Noho. We had great conversation, despite the fact that we realized we were complete opposites in many regards (e.g. I almost drowned twice last year, and he’s been a beach lifeguard for almost 10 years)…which we chalked up to being complementary and/or interesting for the other person. We began to define a balance between our interests and personalities. So it was on to date #3 – a quick lunch in the park during the workweek. A few days later, I received two dozen red roses at my office from him, because he was “looking forward to seeing me” on date #4. And my faith in eHarmony was then restored.

We’ve gone on several more dates since then and have grown fonder of each other with each one. Something about this scientific process seemed to have worked, because the chemistry…or “harmony” is finally right. Despite my not wanting to have anything to do with the whole online dating process in the beginning, I’ve become a statistic. I’ve happily relegated myself to being one of those 1 in 5 couples who met each other online.  However, I still refuse to send in our story or a photo of us so that we could potentially become candidates for one of those [still] annoying TV commercials.

Many, many thanks Mathew, for being the scientific geek that you are. You’re right — it’s a numbers game of sorts. I just hope that your little test turns out to be statistically significant after all, with a high confidence rating.

So if you do end up speaking at my wedding, please don’t embarrass me too much.