As technology advances, our ability to communicate diminishes. eHarmony Advantures.

[Before we get to our next installment of the eHarmony Adventures series, our guest blogger would like to submit a bit of an update regarding the last post and the improbable odds she's up against when finding suitable dates. - Mat]

For those of you who think I may be exaggerating about some of the “matches” that I get, you’ll find that this profile excerpt isn’t quite as eHarmonious as you would’ve originally imagined:

“Wonderful music(All kinds of)bring me to the heaven, Singing in the public turn me on…I also think the best way to stay focus and peace in this uproarious world is spending more time on reading. When vacation is coming, I will packed up and grab my camera for traveling with my friends :) If the god allow me to make 3 wishes to be come true, that will be World Peace, No disease and No wild animal killing.”

I’m down with the “world piece and no disease” part but um, really? How do I get these kinds of matches, you ask? I guess only time, and a scientific experiment will tell…

[And on to the next blog... hit the jump for more.]

It’s been just over a month since I signed up to be an eHarmony soul seeker, and I’ve gotten 302 matches delivered to date. That’s right, throughout this holiday season Santa thought that I would see scientific potential in 302 eligible bachelors. Here’s the rundown:

- 147 of these are currently closed out. This means that I didn’t like them for various reasons (e.g., too short, live too far away, strange statements in their profile, terrible grammar, seem strangely controlling) or they didn’t like me.

- 143 of these are still open. I could potentially communicate with this set…but truthfully, I’m just too lazy to close out 140 of them.

- I’ve gotten 3 nudges (not associated with the three that could still have potential from the previous statistic). Nudges are exactly like Facebook pokes, but I guess it would be odd to “poke” a potential partner on an online dating site.

- 12 – this is the current number of matches I’m actually communicating with. Some have stalled at the early stages of “Guided Communication,” some have never replied back to my prompts, and

- 2 have gotten to “Open Communication.”

- Of these two, one shows promise. I have a pending date with one of these guys… (Yes, my first possible eHarmony date is on the horizon.)

- And the other…well, the below video will illustrate why this has been such an interesting learning process. I don’t even know how to begin to reply to this one, any thoughts?

[Before we get to the video, let me first say it's been quite an amusing experience so far. Every now and then Ms. Guest Blogger sends me a snippet of some of the messages she's received via eHarmony and I have a good laugh. Here's the text of the message--the audio reflects how the voice in my brain is reading the message. Enjoy. - Mat]

[Before the flaming begins, I'm not making fun of the guy for lacking the basic English skills of a 6th grader. That's not it at all. Hey, maybe there really is such a thing as a comma-ellipsis in some crazy foreign language. What I am saying though is the dude is looking for a date and couldn't spend the 20 seconds it would have taken him to proofread his bizarrely short message? C'mon, guy. Put a little effort in it. - Mat]