My Personal “Southwest Commercial” Moment.
Hello, my name is Mathew and I am a jerk.
I’ve been pretty addicted to reading F My Life.com. It’s essentially a website where people anonymously post snippets of moments they wish didn’t happen to them. Kinda like the Southwest “Wanna get away?” commercials. Most of the snippets are posted by prepubescent teens who have some kind of horrible sex moment or witness their parents doing the naughty or something really juvenile (albeit, entertaining), but occasionally, you run across a real gem.
For example:
Today, my fiancee broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML
Today, I found out that I am being sued for losing a set of wedding photos that I took. I lost them by being mugged on the way home after the shoot and £10,000 worth of equipment was stolen from me. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Pretty jacked, right? Well, I had one of those moments today… I don’t think I’ve really hit a point where I said “F my life”, so I’ll just call it my Southwest Moment.
I just got off the subway and was in my “New York walk” mode. The thing about getting off the subway is that you really have to jet to the closest staircase or else the human traffic makes the journey exponentially longer. I’m making a fast break for it and suddenly everybody in front of my stops. I’ve got my Shure E3cs on and I’m playing some Mogwai pretty loudly. The Shures already cut out 10dbs of sound without any music playing so I literally cannot hear anything. I mutter under my breath breath about how some people have things to do and papers to write. (At least I think I muttered. You can never tell with those things in your ears.)
Finally, fed up, I just get as close to the handrail as possible and push my way up NFL-fullback style… I finally get to the top where I realized why everybody was stopping. An elderly man fell down and people had stopped to help him up and get his cane and groceries off the ground.
I could feel 100 pairs of eyes glaring at me–the little punk kid who doesn’t care about or respect his elders.
At that moment, I would have given my only kidney for a Southwest flight outta there.