I Am Not A Terrorist! (Stop Facial Hair Profiling.)

I am being profiled.

I have gotten flagged to have my bag searched(1) FOUR times in the last six days.

I was flagged once in the six months prior to this.

I know NYC is under alert for a terrorist/subway plot, but I’m starting to think this is due to my four-weeks-worth of facial hair.(2) Seriously, I think they are thrown off by my Asian eyes, large backpack, not-skinny-hip-like-all-the-other-New-York-kids build, and hapa haole facial growth… But mostly, I think it’s the facial hair.

Well, guess what? My resolve is stronger than ever. I will not give in to your straight, white male oppression, Officer Kelly! Your implicit threats of sodomy via broomstick or via nightstick will not deter me! Shouldn’t you be out assaulting a bicyclist?!

I swear, if I miss one more train because they flagged me, I’m going to give them a piece of my mind.(3)

Just another nonterrorist (with patchy facial hair),
Mathew

Footnotes:
  1. It’s not really a search. They rub it with a cloth that has been rubbed on a million other bags and then run it through a machine. [↩]
  2. It’s a protest beard. I refuse to shave it until my last final. [↩]
  3. Molly, you’re still going to bail me out of jail, right? [↩]