Not Cool: Popped Collars and Wall Warts.

I was enjoying my iced coffee today at a trendy little New York coffee shop and witnessed two atrocities against all things decent by the same person. Laptop plugs that are in the “wall wart” form instead of the “power brick” form and popped collars.

I will address both serious issues today.

A Case Against Popped Collars.

I don’t understand the perpetuation of this fashion trend. Why why why why? Why do people do it? Why? It wasn’t cool even when you thought it was cool and it definitely isn’t cool today so stop doing it. Stop. Stop stop stop stop.

I never understood popping the collar of those polo shirts (or even worse, dress shirts). I never participated when my friends did it and I stood firm when people made fun of me for not doing. Thankfully, the fashion trend died in 1995 and I thought that was where it would forever rest but I’ve been seeing a huge resurgence of this ridiculousness since moving out to New York and it must end. Some of the people who I’ve seen popping their collars were European tourists and that’s forgiveable, but the Americans who do it drive me insane. Maybe it’s our close proximity to Nantucket out here but whatever it is, it must stop.

Do you even know why it’s there? It was designed by famed tennis-star-turned-clothing-designer Lacoste as a more comfortable alternative to the traditional tennis clothing of the time and as a means to prevent sunburning on the back of the neck of tennis players.

Do you play tennis? Do you play it professionally? Then stop.

Eventually, in 1980, it was regarded as a symbol of being “preppy” in The Official Preppy Handbook. Do you continue to wear 80′s fashion trends? Apparently, you do.

Nothing can look more ridiculous to me than a guy wearing a Ralph Lauren polo with his collar popped. Especially if it is in pink. Ridiculous. RIDICULOUS! Even worse (but far more popular) are the kids who wear Abercrombie or J Crew polos and do it. (It should be noted that the 2006 A&F Styling Guide says that their workers should not pop their collars.)

Today, popped collars are the “object of mockery and scorn”(1) by people everywhere and I’m putting in my fair share.

If you’re going to be ghetto, at least come prepared.

I was at said coffee shop next to perviously mentioned Popped Collar Man and he takes out his Apple PowerBook from the mid-90s and proceeds to plug it into the wall. The thing is, it’s not the standard Apple power adapter so it’s this totally ghetto-rigged adapter and it requires one of those really huge wall-wart power plugs — the kind that takes up THREE slots on a four slot outlet. Just plugs it in like it’s nobody’s business while the rest of us (all with dying laptops) watch in disbelief.

One of the guys turns to him and asks if he could plug in his laptop for like 15 minutes to let it charge up for a bit and the guy says, “No… Sorry. My laptop will die right away if you do…” Are you kidding me? That’s understandably ghetto. Fine — you’ve had your laptop since the beginning of time and now the battery is dead… whatever. Fine. It happens. But you ghetto rig an adapter too!? CMON!

I don’t understand it. That’s like walking into Starbucks with one of the new iMacs or something and just busting out a keyboard and mouse.(2) It almost completely defeats the purpose of getting a laptop.

Look. If you’re going to be all ghetto like that, at least bring a surge protector along so you aren’t taking up every available slot. It’s just a common courtesy here.

Done ranting,
Mathew

Footnotes:
  1. According to Wikipedia. [↩]
  2. No. You know what… busting out an iMac would be more forgiveable and infinitely cooler. [↩]