Tomorrow: Wearing nothing but a smile.

First, I am happy to report that the student health building at NYU is much nicer than the one at SDSU. And that’s saying a lot because the new building at SDSU was pretty classy. Also, the staff is much nicer and the whole process a little bit easier.

That said, they didn’t see me today despite my “urgent” status. I do have an appointment tomorrow though. Exciting.

However, going there today did reminded me why I don’t like going to the doctor. I always end up naked. I don’t know why, but it happens. Sometimes, I feel like I’m better off just walking in naked.

I think doctors just like getting me naked. I have never gone to Scripps in La Jolla(1) and not had to strip down. It doesn’t matter what it was for. Head hurts? Herniated disc? Normal physical exam? Cough? Just strip down and put this on and the doctor will be in to see you in a few minutes.

And then they toss you the backless gown. You know the one that is way too big, has weird tie string positions, and never, ever covers up your butt. Then to make it worse, they make sure the bed is situated so that your backside is pointing at the door so when it opens the nurses standing around in their station get a nice good look at your bare bottom.

Is this a power thing? Do they just want to show me who is boss and who is naked? Put me back in my place? Because this is just getting out of hand.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll strip down if I have to(2), but do you know how much it hurts to have to take off and put back on your pants and boxers with a herniated disc? That seriously sucks. I’m not kidding around. I have to walk backwards down steep stairs; what makes you think I can balance on one leg while bending over?

Tomorrow, I’m going to refuse to strip down and see what they do.(3)

Fully clothed,
Mathew(4)

Footnotes:
  1. Speaking of Scripps, my doctor also never warned me before performing prostate testicular cancer exams (thanks for the correction Face) which I found incredibly inappropriate. She was about my age which also made it really weird and she had the coldest hands known to man. All that to say, I highly recommend going to a different hospital if you’re in La Jolla. [↩]
  2. and, hey, I’ll strip down sometimes even if I don’t have to [↩]
  3. Update: I never had to remove clothing while I was there so I already like the NYU student health. [↩]
  4. Who has not had anything stuck up his anus. Apparently, a violation of that nature is incredibly embarrassing if you are dating a med student. [↩]