Introducing The “Save Matt’s Sanity” Fund.

I’m not above begging here, people.

Let me describe the situation for you. If you know me, you know there are a few things I realllllly enjoy. Not in a “I enjoy watching sports highlights” kind of way but things that help keep me sane. Things that give me an excuse to go out and expend a bit of energy or give me a reason to walk around by myself and think without looking stupid — ya know, things like sports or photography. It also happens, that these are the two things I can’t do. First, my camera got destroyed in a freak thunderstorm. Second, I herniated a disc playing basketball.

Normally, that would be ok. I’d just work and save up and get something to hold me over, but I can’t do that because I got an unpaid internship too good to turn down. So here I sit – cameraless and hunchbacked with no source of discretionary income and here is where you come in. YOU can help save my sanity! YOU can help keep me off the basketball court until my back is healed (8 months). YOU can make a serious impact on my life.(1) There’s a guitar on sale for $80 bucks. It’s got a $300 retail and usually sells for about $150.(2) I’m taking donations via PayPal. Every penny helps… but not really so please don’t donate a penny. The PayPal fee is 2.9% and 30 cents per transaction which means if you donate less than 33 cents, I (literally) won’t get a penny. So if you feel inclined to give just a penny, make it 34 cents and pretend you had to mail it to me. I’ll take photos of the guitar to prove I’m not raising this for kicks. Remember when I had the “Get Lam Back From Vietnam” fund 6 years ago?(3) This is like that only more important. I mean, let’s face it that guy would be fine if you left him in the ‘Nam. There is no coming back from the being insane. So how about it? Downsize that cup of Starbucks today and send in that 82 cents of whatever it is. I’m like the poor bum on the corner with the funny sign. Think of this as just a little thank you for the times I made you laugh intentionally or otherwise.(4)

I’ll love you forever.(5)
Mathew

UPDATE @ 9pm EDT: I took down the PayPal link. This is no time to get greedy and I’ve definitely surpassed the $7.59 goal I had set. More info later. Thanks to those who read, emailed, IM’ed, and, of course, donated.

PS — If you don’t have a PayPal account, you can still just click the link on the side that says “Don’t Have A PayPal Account?”

Footnotes:
  1. Ok, let’s be honest. If you’re actually going to donate, there’s a good chance you’ve already made a serious impact on my life so thanks for that. [↩]
  2. Those of you unfamiliar with the instrument world, an $80 guitar is about the same thing as getting a 1982 Toyota Tercel with 200,000 miles on it as your first car. It does the job but it won’t look or sound very good. I’m ok with that. [↩]
  3. Lam missed his flight or something and was stuck in Vietnam. I’m proud to say I raised 6 dollars for him from 19 different people — most of whom tried to send in pennies. [↩]
  4. This is a direct reference to you, Lynn Chyi. For the 4 days you called me Quasimodo after YOU told me to finish playing that softball game. [↩]
  5. Who knows? Maybe longer. [↩]